Finding Your Leadership Edge: A Reflection on Growth Through Admiration
Leadership development is rarely a straight line. It curves, doubles back, and surprises us — often revealing our greatest strengths and our most meaningful growth edges in the same moment. One of the simplest yet most powerful leadership activities I’ve facilitated asks us to look outward before we look inward, and the results are always meaningful. I brought this to our most recent At the Table event just a few days ago and am excited to share it here as well.
The Activity: A Sister I Admire
We all have someone in our chapter or alumnae network who makes us think, I want to be more like her. She leads with quiet confidence, or perhaps she speaks up when it’s hard, or she holds space for everyone in the room without seeming to try. This activity invites you to sit with that feeling and turn it into something actionable.
Here’s how it works. Think of a sister you genuinely admire as a
leader. She might be a chapter leader, an alumnae advisor, or someone you met at convention years ago. Picture her clearly.
Now, without overthinking it, write down 10 to 15 specific things you appreciate about her —
qualities, habits, the way she handles conflict, how she makes others feel, what she
stands for. Once you have your list, go back through it
with two simple tools:
- Circle the qualities you want to
grow into. These are your growth edges, the
places where you feel a quiet pull or even a
little discomfort. That tension is information.
It’s pointing you somewhere important. - Place a star next to the qualities
you already recognize in yourself. These are
your strengths. Own them. They are real,
they are yours, and they deserve to be
named.
What This Reveals
What makes this activity so moving is the realization that we can best recognize in others what already lives, at least in seed form, within us. You wouldn’t notice her courage if courage weren’t something you understood. You wouldn’t admire her compassion if you weren’t already capable of it yourself.
Your circled qualities are not deficits. They are invitations. Your starred qualities are not
small. They are the foundation you’re already building on.
A Challenge for Your Chapter
Try this activity at your next chapter meeting or leadership retreat. Pair it with a short discussion: What patterns do you notice across your lists? What strengths does your chapter share? Where are your collective growth edges pointing you?
Leadership, as one of AOII’s Ends, isn’t a title or a position — it is a practice. It lives in the daily choices we make to show up, to grow, and to lift one another along the way.
As your Executive Board, we are deeply committed to delivering on AOII’s Leadership End — not just at the chapter officer level, but at every level of our fraternity. Whether you are a collegiate member stepping into your first leadership role, a chapter officer navigating the responsibilities of your position, or an alumnae member mentoring the next generation, we see you and we are here to support your growth.
Our work is grounded in the belief that leadership is not reserved for those with a title — it belongs to every sister who shows up, engages, and chooses to grow. Our Executive Board is actively working to create opportunities, resources, and connections that make meaningful leadership development accessible to all. Because when each of us grows as a leader, our entire Fraternity is stronger for it.