Peace Over Pressure: Setting Boundaries for a Healthier Holiday Season
Kandy Cassano Bernskoetter, Sigma (U of California at Berkeley), Rituals, Traditions, and Jewelry Committee
We often see winter as a season of fun and celebration, with calendars filled with events, parties, and social gatherings. Some events are based on sacred traditions, while others focus on joy and merriment. A closer look at the calendar reveals many holidays around the world from late November to early January, as the cold months are a popular time for get-togethers and festivities.
For some, however, the season brings stress and anxiety. Busy schedules, family responsibilities, or even memories can make this time of year less joyful for some. Our Ritual tells us the importance of self-care so we can be our best for our sisters, friends, and families. AOII alumna and former Foundation Board President Meagan Davies, Alpha Chi (Western Kentucky U) a licensed professional counselor, hosts a workshop for those who need tools to navigate this time of year. With her permission, I am sharing her content.
Digital Boundaries
Social media can easily impact your mental health during the holidays, so consider setting digital boundaries. Technology is a tool, not your boss. Your goal isn’t to disappear; it’s to be intentional. Digital peace often creates space for emotional peace. Here are some tips to achieve this.
- Schedule specific times to check social media instead of constant scrolling.
- Try a ‘scroll-free’ morning or evening.
- Use Do Not Disturb during meals or gatherings.
- Replace passive scrolling with an intentional connection — text a friend, send a voice note, or look through old photos that make you smile.
Family and Friends Boundaries
Boundaries don’t create distance; they create clarity. They allow you to decide what you’re available for — emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Set the framework: Notice, Name, Neutralize, and Nurture.
Notice what’s happening in your body.
“Maybe your shoulders tense or your stomach knots — that’s your body signaling, something doesn’t feel safe.”
Name the emotion and the need.
“I feel anxious because I need space.”
Neutralize the guilt.
“Setting boundaries doesn’t mean I don’t love them — it means I’m loving myself, too.”
Nurture your peace afterward.
“Take a walk, breathe, or text a supportive friend. Recovery matters.”
Redefining Rest and Reconnection
Let’s discuss rest. Our culture associates being busy with worth, especially during the holidays. But rest isn’t laziness — it’s leadership.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Rest might look like saying no to a party, leaving early, or taking a day offline. It’s about choosing presence over performance.
Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine a peaceful holiday scene that feels genuine to you. What are you doing? Who’s there — or not there? What sounds or smells are surrounding you? Then ask yourself, what does peace look like for me this season?
Now open your eyes. That’s what you’re protecting when you set boundaries. Peace isn’t passive — it’s something you actively practice.
Holiday Boundary Plan
Boundaries are an act of love — for yourself and for others. They allow you to show up with authenticity, not obligation. Put a plan into action with this Holiday Boundary Map. Create your boundaries, manage your emotions, and find support from others to have a peaceful and self-compassionate holiday season.
You may contact the Rituals, Traditions, and Jewelry Committee (RT&J) about anything Ritual-related at RT&J@alphaomicronpi.org